So I feel like the Lord has been giving me some pretty steep lessons in humility lately, especially in the realm of confession of sin and bringing thing out and into the light with others. Humility is certainly a big pill to swallow. However to steal a line from a hymn, "the bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower." Joy Dawson (I think) once said, "humility is being known for who you really are." It's funny to me how God answers our prayers sometimes. You ask Him for more of Him and to know Him better and what does He do...lead you in paths of humility where you have to expose yourself. "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus...He humbled Himself..." (Phil 2:something). I was driving in my car this evening and just had a brief further realization of the fact that I really have absolutely nothing to offer. Nothing to offer the Lord, nothing to offer others. Nothing. I am nothing. I have nothing. It was all in the midst of asking the Spirit to bring up my sins so that I could confess them and finally I was like, "sheesh, ok, I get the point." Lack of faith here, prayerlessness there, a bad attitude here, a slanderous word there, an impure though here, a wrong motive there. Worry, doubt, fear, independency, missed opportunities, timidity, anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, covetousness, idolatry...man, I'm sounding more and more like the "these are those who don't inherit the Kingdom" bunch from Galatians 5. And the list could go on. I am nothing...nothing but a filthy, rotten, no good sinner. I have nothing to offer...nothing but a cold and hard heart, a calloused mind and a will that continues to run back to the ways of the flesh. And all in the matter of a few milliseconds, the Lord brought to my mind Ephesians 1 (surprise surprise it's in Ephesians): "For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be HOLY and BLAMELESS in His sight. In LOVE He predestined us to be ADOPTED as HIS SONS through Jesus Christ, in accordance with HIS PLEASURE and WILL..." Wow. Sit with the truth of that for even a moment and behold the unfathomable greatness of our God! That I can take the worst of my heart and nail it to the cross and know that in God's eyes, I'm just like Jesus. Pure. Righteous. Holy. Wow. I am nothing...but in Him I am loved and forgiven and made clean. I have nothing...but in Him I have everything.
I was listening to this sermon from a pastor up in MN, and he mentioned briefly the story about Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4. I think for the first time, the point of the story became so much more clear to me. The guy said (and some of this is my added interpretation, not his exact words), Jesus wasn't pointing out the fact that she had sinned in order to shame her or disgrace her or try and get her to somehow turn her life around and decide to stop sinning. He stopped by the well that day to offer her Living Water...to offer her Himself. And in pointing out her sin it was like He was saying, "I know everything about you, and my offer STILL stands."
O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free! Rolling as a mighty ocean, in it's fullness over me! Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love. Leading onward, leading homeward, to Thy glorious rest above! O the deep, deep love of Jesus; spread His praise from shore to shore! How He loveth, ever loveth, changeth never, nevermore! How He watches o'er His loved ones, died to call them all His own. How for them He intercedeth, watcheth o'er them from the throne. O the deep, deep love of Jesus, love of every love the best! 'Tis an ocean full of blessing, 'tis a haven giving rest! O the deep, deep love of Jesus, 'tis a heaven of heavens to me. And it lifts me up to glory, for it lifts me up to Thee!
Funny how humility leads us to experience more of God's love. I recommend a nice, big dose of humility for all of you. "His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour. The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower."
